I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
