and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
