You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
