I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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