Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
