btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
