Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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