As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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