I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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