South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
