My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
