Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
