It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cannot find my penis.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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