Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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