How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
