If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
