I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
