I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
