Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
