I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
