It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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