and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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