Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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