I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
