And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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