I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
