Are we in a gay sports bar?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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