What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
