Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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