please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
