Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
