i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Alive.
So much puke
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
