nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
