My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
