Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
