it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
