he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
