I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
