he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
