I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
