Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
