Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
