i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
