grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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