ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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