So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
