we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
