i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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