Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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