i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
