the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
