i need an iv and a liver transplant
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this will be a night to untag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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