Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
